Yesterday was suicide prevention day, I wanted to write but I didn’t really feel up to it. Since this is an issue everyday, I will write today.
Within the chronic illness community it’s very common to feel suicidal. Usually the thought process is that we don’t want to live THIS WAY. If we could be better, we would theoretically want to live. Though it’s not that simple because even healthy people get suicidal.
I have felt this way too. Not just due to my health but due to the tricky situations in life. I’ve even tried to take my own life. You wouldn’t know that when you meet me. You wouldn’t know because I’m not in that headspace anymore. I’m on the other side. I had to go through that to learn how strong I am.
Acceptance has been key. Accepting what is but not giving up or giving in. I still strive to be a better person but I accept what is. I accept that life will be hard. I accept that people get sick. But I also accept that you can have good times even if you’re sick. I address my issues with compassion and forgiveness.
I have come to learn that there will always be better days. Better than your worst days. And they may get bad again… but it is worth sticking around to see those good times. Because they’re so worth it. Even if you’re stuck in bed all of the time those moments when you laugh at a show, cuddle with your sibling, laugh with family, eat a delicious meal, feel the sunshine on your skin. It’s so worth it for those moments.
Don’t die because life is worth it. It sure is hard. But things can change, even if it’s just your mindset and not your body. Stay. Stay because the pain doesn’t end when you die, it spreads on to other people. Because you are cared for. People know you and these things have an impact.
You may feel scared to get help. You may feel like you don’t deserve it. But these services are there for people who feel that way. Because everyone is worthy. You are enough. Money is an issue when it comes to getting help, but starting with self help is a good start. Articles, podcasts, books, therapy, friends there so many ways you can help YOU.
Honestly once you get over that initial bump in the road it gets easier. You see clearly again. Hope is a powerful thing.
See that future? This won’t be this way forever. And don’t try to mind read. There’s time ahead where you can learn, meet new people, so many things in the world that can give you the push to move toward the future…
Please don’t harm yourself. Because you are worthy. You don’t have to live this way. But you do have to live. That’s not optional sorry.