I Miss My Art

71D2D250-0792-4415-9D13-526E3878C6D4

Even though I’m blind, I have always loved my art. When I was younger I won in a Welsh talent show for my art. And besides that I’ve always done serf as something to enjoy and a release. I’m colour blind but I get the gist of it  and have learnt techniques to avoid having a green sun and pink dog HAHAHA! But since my health has gone down hill, art has been something I’ve lost. I used to be a healthy-ish kid, I still had my condition but not the complications. So just a healthy blind gal living life. But now even sitting up is so painful and exhausting.   So for me sitting up, and doing art is very exhausting.  I have to lean on the table so my eyes are close to the paper which obviously isn’t a good position for anyone.

79C4CC83-3B63-478F-88C7-1FEB2833F81E

The last few times I went to school before having to get medical exemption I would go and either sleep all day in our office or do an art project because I was so unstable emotionally and just couldn’t brain. It helped distract me.  But now I don’t have that distracting release.   I’m okay. I use podcasts and social media to distract me now. But that’s not creative and an artist always has a creative mind. I miss my art a lot. I get urges to do it all of the time. The truth be told, I can’t afford to have fun because I don’t have the energy to spare. I have to prioritise practical things like my lessons, eating, napping, socialising, and of course personal care and whatever else in between.  I wish I could just be like woo ok let’s just do it fuck it, but if I do that I may not be able to  shower for another three days or whatever. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING! FD43395C-8453-402B-8000-A026D66E0512

I hope to find ways to embrace my creativity in different ways. Like I have all these future plans and projects in my little brain just waiting for some energy to create them.  And I’ve been researching a different ways to do it.  Ideally doing art laying down would be good – but that’s pretty awkward and I’ll have drops of paint on my nose! Not that I don’t either way ahaha. My one to one used to sit with me doing my art with me and would end up covered in my paint. 

Writing is a good way to be creative but it takes so much cognitive energy which is something I struggle with. Here’s hoping in the future I can make up for my lost artsy time. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s