In honour of sexual health awareness week I’m writing about disability and sex. I’ve spoken to many of my disabled peers and complied some information and tips to share with you all. Intimacy can be a barrier for many people but especially if you’re disabled (see my last blog post). So here is some advice!
Communication is a major part of sex for anybody but especially when you have special requirements. It’s not only to help you but your partner feel more relaxed during the experience. It can be hard being vulnerable but it’s a must to truly relax and connect.
Owning your body and the way it is will help you so much. You don’t have to love it but to just be like okay this is what we are working with is ground breaking! Pretending and hiding parts of yourself isn’t good for anybody. It’s hard to have confidence but little things can help. You need confidence to be able to ask for what you want and deserve in all areas of life, especially sex.
A obvious must have if you have any kind of disability or discomfort PILLOWS! You can use them under your back, legs, head, stomach, just under one leg whatever you need. The more comfortable you are the easier you can relax and enjoy. They have special sex pillows but normal ones would work just the same. You can even use your partner as a support and it be seen as nothing. They can help support your legs as you need it.
Sex toys are a great way to increase sensation during intimacy. They make all kinds that can meet different accessibility needs. It can be good for your partner to feel like you’re actually getting enjoyment too.
Www.crippingupsexwithava.com has a whole blog reviewing sex you accessibility.
The only way you learn what you like is through trail and edror. Having a disability or illness comes with a LOT of that. Including in the bedroom. Masturbation is useful for anybody. It’s a great form of self care and stress relief. And orgasms are a great pain killer.
Lube is very underrated but the more lubrication you have the more sensitivity and less discomfort. They have ones that can help increase sensitivity too which would be useful if you have lack of sensation.
- ASK OTHERS
Ask your disabled peers what they’ve found helpful – you can comment below too with some advice.
- There’s More Than Genitals
Believe it or not, you can be intimate and make someone feel good with more than just genitals. Which is good news if you have no sensation down there. These are called Erogenous Zone — is an area of the human body that has heightened sensitivity, the stimulation of which may generate a sexual response, such as relaxation, the production of sexual fantasies, sexual arousal and orgasm. Touching these areas during intimacy can generate a greater sense of relaxation and pleasure. The scalp, lips, neck, chest, nipples, inner arm, thighs and of course the genitals are all erogenous zones. This can be useful if you have distorted sensations to cultivate.